I think we have all heard it before. A teen says, “My parents don’t get me.” A spouse says, “I wish you would just listen and stop trying to fix things.” It feels like there is a block in communication and nothing ever changes. If you are feeling frustrated and stuck, utilizing validation in your communication with family members can get the ball rolling in a more positive direction. [Read more…]
Welcome to Our Blog!
This blog is written by the clinicians at Jonah Green and Associates, a mental health practice based in Kensington, MD that provides quality services for children, teens, families, and adults. It is intended as a resource for families who are seeking to expand their knowledge about mental health and mental health services, and also as a resource for families who are seeking quality mental health services, especially in the mid-Atlantic region. Please feel free to post questions and comments on any of the entries as well as on any topics or articles from our companion web site www.childandfamilymentalhealth.com.
Most people think about “fighting” as a sign that something is wrong with their relationship. While some fights are destructive to relationships, the truth is that all couples argue. The stress of managing a life together generate can conflict in even the best of relationships. Couples who are successful find ways to address their differences in a way that minimizes harm and lays the groundwork for more understanding. Marriage researcher John Gottman has observed hundreds of couples, and has found that couples who manage their conflicts successfully are much more likely to be satisfied and stay together. Here are some tips that can help you manage conflict in your couple relationship:
As teenagers become more independent, they often spend more time away from home, and when they are home they are often behind closed doors or focused on other things. It might also feel like your child is less interested in talking to you, but there are plenty of things you can do to maintain a strong positive relationship and stay connected with your teenager. Hint: It’s the little moments, not the big occasions, which can really count.
When my kids were little, whining ranked right up there as one of my least favorite of their behaviors. I certainly struggled more with how to handle tantrums and worried more about school issues, but when my kids whined at me, it pushed my buttons the way other things did not. Like finger nails on a black board, it just got to me.
“You’re completely ridiculous, Dad—you don’t know anything”
“Why do you have to use the computer right now?! Let me use it!”
“You’re the reason I did so bad on that test, because you made me go to that dumb “event”!”
If you are a parent, the above quotes may feel uncomfortably familiar. Of all the difficulties today’s parents face, the shockingly disrespectful way in which their children often address them may be the most challenging. Children whom they love dearly disparage them in sarcastic or demeaning tones, or refuse to respond to simple directions. Parents may feel hurt and powerless, and if the behavior becomes a pattern, they might even grow resentful.