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This blog is written by the clinicians at Jonah Green and Associates, a mental health practice based in Kensington, MD that provides quality services for children, teens, families, and adults. It is intended as a resource for families who are seeking to expand their knowledge about mental health and mental health services, and also as a resource for families who are seeking quality mental health services, especially in the mid-Atlantic region. Please feel free to post questions and comments on any of the entries as well as on any topics or articles from our companion web site www.childandfamilymentalhealth.com.

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“Reporting” Upset to Your Partner: A Bridge to Deeper Communication

 

Therapists, coaches, and “how-to” books offer a lot of excellent communication advice for conflict resolution. One recommendation is to use “I” rather than “you” statements: “I feel hurt” rather than “you’re so mean”.  Another suggestion is to acknowledge the other’s point of view, with statements such as “I get how you would feel that way”.  Additional skills include paraphrasing the other’s words, being specific with complaints rather than making blanket statements such as “always” or “never”, and avoiding “mind reading” (“I know you’re doing that just to manipulate me”).


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Is postpartum romance possible? Tips for new parents.

You might be the most optimistic, affectionate pregnant couple right up until the moment your baby is born. The months after your first child’s birth, however, may be one of the most difficult periods of your or any couple’s life. Problematic communication patterns that couples that they had worked through may return, sometimes with more intensity than ever.  This phenomenon is well documented in the scientific literature, and there are many films about it (Two days in New York, Knocked Up …). And yet, new parents often feel unprepared when it happens to them. These new parents are relieved to hear that it is normal to feel exhausted and disoriented in your new role as a parent. And it is also completely normal to fight more with your partner during the postpartum period.

 

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Fighting Fair: Tips for Effective Communication with Your Partner

Most people think about “fighting” as a sign that something is wrong with their relationship.  While some fights are destructive to relationships, the truth is that all couples argue.  The stress of managing a life together generate can conflict in even the best of relationships.  Couples who are successful find ways to address their differences in a way that minimizes harm and lays the groundwork for more understanding.  Marriage researcher John Gottman has observed hundreds of couples, and has found that couples who manage their conflicts successfully are much more likely to be satisfied and stay together.  Here are some tips that can help you manage conflict in your couple relationship:

couples fighting

 

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Choosing to Create Healthy Relationships

The end of the year is often a natural period of reflection where we take inventory of our lives over the past 12 months. For some of us, our thoughts naturally gravitate toward the moments of individual and familial triumph and success in the last year. The moments when we met our goal of having a date night with our spouse once a month, shared a quality conversation with our adolescent, or spent time in play enjoying our children throughout the year. When such memories come to mind we feel proud, joyous, and grateful! For many others of us, our end-of-year reflections more readily remind us of the disappointments, setbacks, or hurts of the year—goals we set that have yet to be achieved or maintained with consistency, fights with partners and children where mean things were said and remembered, or even the loss of loved ones. These memories are often accompanied by regret, sadness, or anxiety. [Read more…]

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Therapy for Relationships: More than Managing Conflict

 

Couples and family members who enter therapy to improve their relationships have usually endured long periods of harsh conflict.  Couples might be caught in repetitive cycles of criticism and defensiveness; parents and teens might be trapped in power struggles; siblings may find themselves in escalating rivalries.  Anguished to stop destructive arguments, people usually begin therapy focused on containing their conflicts.  Therapists can help clients to manage their conflicts by helping them engage in respectful communication focused on thoughts and feelings, and avoiding excessive blame, criticism, and stonewalling.  With improved communication, power struggles can become more manageable, and conflicts can more easily resolve.

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Jonah Green and Associates, LLC

Jonah Green and Associates, LLC is a highly regarded group of mental health clinicians who treat children, teens, and families with a variety of emotional, behavioral, and relationship concerns... read more
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